


Blood and Fire ~ Alucard

by 1RavenBlack



Category: Hellsing
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:48:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27030700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1RavenBlack/pseuds/1RavenBlack
Summary: Blood and Fire is all they've ever known - Wars, killings, torturing...Definitely not something an 11 year old should witness, but nonetheless, something that was to be her fate.When Vlad Draculea sees how desperate a little girl is just to speak to him, he indulges and finds out there is more to meet the eye than naivity...There is also a cunning that he rarely met in his own advisers.
Relationships: Alucard/Original Character(s)
Kudos: 8





	1. The Count's Vixen

_**** _

_***** _ _**Year 1460 *** _

The little girl ran as fast as her little frail legs could, horrified with fright at what she had witnessed and heard...There was no mistaking it, there was going to be an ambush!  
As soon as she managed to sneak back inside the kingdom, she pushed away everyone in her path, apologising every 3 or so seconds, before she managed to run past the guards at the entrance, into a huge room where she noticed a stern looking brunet man with long wavy hair and intimidating dark eyes that were penetrating your soul.  
He was talking to a poor looking man, a scrawny peasant who was kneeling in front of the few stairs that were leading up to the pedestal where Voivode was sitting at his throne.

 **"You, imbeciles! How could you let a beggar flea like this one disturb His Majesty's Meeting with the commoners!"** one of the guards standing next to the throne howled reproachful at his fellow guards, making the girl flinch slightly at the aggressive tone, before composing herself and taking a few steps forward.

 **"Ah beg yer forgiveness, Yer Majesty! Ah'm but a peasant girl, me parents can afford naught tha live in the premises o' the kingdom, but farther away, into the forest. Ah was naught taught how tha behave in front o' me superiors, so please, forgive me impertinence, for if there was but a trivial matter, ah would have come here naught to bother ye! Ah beg of ye, hear me words out, for they is of utmost importance, and if Yer Highness deems me words worthless, than ye may punish me as God's will!"** she begged, kneeling in front of the stairs where the other peasant was, her eyes like the ever-green forests, brimming with tears.  
 **"How dare you speak like that in front of Our Lord! You impudent wench! You shall not live to see another day in your senseless life! Take her!"** the same guard cried out, making the others grab her up by her arms and taking her away.  
 **"M'Lord, please! Ah overheard spies! The Ottomans! Ye may be betrayed!"** her high pitched words cried out, making everyone halt.  
 **"You...You...Impertinent liar! Insolent sow! How dare you spew such lies in front of Our Lord?!"** the guard scowled, stricking her with his metal glove, blood coming from her mouth and nose.  
 **"CEASE THIS MADNESS IMMEDIATELY!"** a dark voice echoed throughout the room, making everything stop.  
 **"M-My Lord...?"** the same guard stuttered, as he saw the Voivode raise from his chair, making his way towards them.  
 **"She is but a mere child, can you sense naught the truth in her voice? I shall speak to her in private. All of you, leave for today."** he ordered, helping the girl get up from the ground.  
 **"Th-Thank ye, Yer Grace."** she gulped, not daring to meet his gaze.  
 **"But, Your Highness, what if she's a spy?"** the guard asked, flabbergast.  
 **"I can hold my own against a frail girl, I believe."** were his last words before they entered in his private chambers. **"You may sit on the chair, young one."** the Lord said in a much softer voice, making the girl look up at him in shock.  
 **"Thank ye, M'Lord."** she answered in a low voice, sitting on the chair, leaning back on the wall, as the Lord put his own chair in front of her, observing her behaviour.  
 **"How old are you, young one?"** he inquired simply.  
 **"Ah'm 8 years old, M'Lord."** she answered, anxiously.  
 **"What is your name?"** he asked again.  
 **"Elena, M'Lord. Elena, daughter of Mihai the Strider. He died in the last war against the Ottomans."** she replied, smiling sadly.  
 **"Tell me about your family."** he continued, wanting to know more, but also, to ease her stress.  
 **"Ah live with me mama and me older brother...And me puppy, Ursu'. Me dad...Well...Ah think he was a spy, wasn't he? Ah found a letter he hid in our house that nobody else managed to find and it said something along those lines. He taught me how tha stay stealthy and how tha hunt. Ah'm a better archer than me brother! Which is why both of us go hunt for food...But today, Ah overheard some people talking...They had very weird accents, so ah only imagined they were enemies, so ah hid, hoping they wouldn't see me. But after that, ah heard someone speak our tongue perfectly, so ah tried to catch a glimpse at them, from behind the Oak tree ah was hidden behind. Ah think ah can recognise him if ah see him...He had dirty yellow hair, slightly curly, but short. And his eyes was light brown. His voice was rather low too, even for a man. Ah'm sure it was lower than even me papa's. He...He started telling them about yer plan and they started debating for a new strategy. They said they would go through the passing and go by unobserved until they reach the Citadel."** she started ranting with no pause, until she stopped dead in her tracks, looking up at the Lord, meeting his gaze...He was enraged. **"I-I-I'm sorry for me insolence, Yer Highness! Ah meant no offense! Ah'm sure all yer allies is just and honest! A-Ah could'v-"** she tried to say, but he merely shook his head.  
 **"You did well, little Elena. I admire your courage and cunning at such a frail age, especially for a girl."** he patted her hair, making her blush, in shock at his words.  
 **"M-M'Lord...If ah may...The passing they was talking about is very close to our home...If they is to ever go pass it..."** she bit her lip, looking down in fright.  
 **"What would you do, young one? You seem to be awfully clever for your age."** he asked, giving her his full attention.  
 **"Ah...Well...Papa used tha tell us many war tales. About yer shrewd plans and how ye defeated the Ottomans so many times. So...Ah once brought him tha the passing and suggested that we bring huge boulders so if the enemies go through such a narrow place, they'd be easily killed by the rocks. As well as that...There's always burning oil and fire arrows, right? There could be a lot of casualties, which would make them flee, right?"** she tried to suggest, remembering with glee her bonding moments with her father.  
 **"Very well. Today, Elena, you helped save Poienari and its people. If you wish, from now on, you may stay in the castle, as my servant. I give your family a lot to work and a home to live in inside the premises of the kingdom, if you wish to take this offer."** he offered, a kind smile on his face, one that made her reach towards him like one would go after the divine light, and she grasped his hand with both of hers, kissing his knuckles.  
 **"Yer too kind, M'Lord! We is just peasants, we is not worthy of yer benevolent acts. But if Ah'm allowed tha be greedy, ah will accept yer proposal. Ah wish tha serve M'Lord with every second o' me life."** she declared, with a bright smile on her face, her long, red hair, so rare in those places, and so beautifully shining in the Sun, not covering her face anymore.  
 **"Your appearance and personality are very much resembling that of a fox, so from today on, you shall be my Vixen. You are very intelligent for your age, and yet, because you are a child, a girl, many underestimate you. That is exactly why you will act as my cup-bearer, but all the same, you will be tasked with hearing all the whispers from the Citadel, and from outside. But be careful, Elena, for the world is evil. My rule through fear is to maintain peace and order, but not everyone deems is moral and they may wish to rebel."** he explained as they both stood up, an unexplained bond of trust setting between those two.  
 **"Yes, My Lord! Ah will serve ye with every fiber of me being!"** she declared in a louder, more confident way, making Vlad Draculea smirk at her with pride.  
 **"That is what I like to hear, little Fox."** he replied, as they left the chamber.

The Lord showed her to the castle seamstresses and they were to make various outfits for her, fitting for a young girl working for His Majesty, so everything must be made perfectly.  
The girl was shocked beyond belief at all the attention and pampering she received, especially the gentle words from the women there, which made her heart feel warm and at ease.

After her measurements were taken, The Voivode took her out to show her around the Kingdom, when a young boy that seemed around her age, with fair hair and blue eyes, ran to the elder man in a clumsy hurry, even tripping and falling at the man's feet.

**"Hey, really, what's with ye, kid? Ye never learnt how tha run and not trip, or what?"** the girl went in front of him, looking down at him with curiosity and skepticism, as he huffed and tried to get up as fast as possible.  
 **"My deepest apologies, My Lord! I promise to be less clumsy! I swear on my honour of your Page!"** he screamed in a voice characteristically pitched for his age, making the girl laugh.  
 **"Ye seem naught fit fo' a Page, ye know?"** Elena looked up at the Voivode, who seemed to be pondering. **"M'lord, can ah naught be yer...Uh...Page? Ah'm sure ah could beat this kid in battle!"**  
 **"No, dear Elena, I need you for much more important things. Being a Page would be too much of a downgrade for your abilities. Andrei, go to the blacksmith and bowyer and tell them to make a sword and bow fitting for a boy your age, as fast as possible."** Vlad ordered, making the Page nod vigurously, excited, and run to the workers.  
 **"Are ye going to train him, m'lord?"** she asked confused, but the man merely chuckled.  
 **"I am going to train someone, but not him."** he explained, as the girl gasped in shock.  
 **"Ye wish tha train me? Aren't ye too busy for this? Yer the Voivode and-"** she ranted, embarrassed at what she heard, but the man patted her head, making her look up at him with stars in her eyes.  
 **"I need my little informant to be strong and knowledgeable, not just swift and witty. I will get the Maesters to teach you how to speak, read and write properly."** he explained, guiding her to the stables. **"Do you know how to ride?"**  
 **"Ah wish ah did, but we is very poor people, we can't afford a horse."** Elena shrugged, looking up at the large beings in wonder. **"So they is horses...They is beautiful."** she whispered, standing up on her tippy toes trying to pet a black horse's nose.  
 **"They are, Elena. The plural is are, not is. You may learn how to ride a pony. It's much more fitting for your age."** he explained, showing her the ponies.  
 **"Ah've never heard of ponies, but they is...Uh...They are so cute!"** she corrected herself in her excitement as she tried to give the ponies some hay to eat.  
 **"You will start your studies and training from tomorrow on, so make sure to rest and be a diligent student."** he ordered in a stern voice, but the girl merely turned around to look at him.  
 **"M'lord...You mentioned Maesters teaching me how to read...But...Papa said Maesters heal. They make potions and...And...Uh...Herbs And...Save people...Treat wounds...Is that right? Ah...Ah want tha learn that too. Papa died from a wound and...Ah don't want more people to die like papa and leave they families. Can ah be a Maester too, M'lord?"** she asked meekly, looking at the Voivode with glassy eyes, and his heart melted, crouching to her level and putting his hand on her head, making her look him in the eye.  
 **"Your heart is kind and noble, Elena. I admire your desire to save people. If you think at your age you can learn so much at once and not neglect your other duties, then I will arrange for it. Forget naught that it ought to be of high difficulty."** Vlad told the girl, who only smiled softly and nodded her head.  
 **"Ah can do it! All ah do is for M'lord, so ah'm sure ah can do it!"** she grinned, making the man chuckle.  
 **"Very well, little vixen. Run back to the seamstresses and tell them you will be rooming with one of them, and they will take care of you. I personally informed them that you will be working directly under me as my cupbearer, so they will know how to dress you and fix your hair. Until then, rest well, young Elena."** the Lord informed, as the girl flashed a fast smile, but not one that an innocent child would show, but a very sly one, as she ran back to the castle doing as she was told.

She found her golden chance at a better life for her and her family, and she was not going to turn it back. She was going to work as hard as possible to ensure she was the Lord's most trusted and important informer.


	2. New Beginnings

**"Huh...Another one of those dreams...Why...? I haven't dreamt in ages...And yet, whenever I do, memories from so long before plague me worse than the Black Plague decimated Europe. It's not fair that only I get to experience something so painful...Is it...Vlad?"** getting into a sitting position, awoken from my sleep because of the recurring dreams, I look out of the window, admiring the beautiful blood moon, only to notice something weird, as I touched my face. **"...A tear...? Aren't you weird, little one? I am pretty sure I haven't seen your kind since half a millennia ago. You, precious little thing..."** I smiled softly at the little drop of salty water that was sitting now on the tip of my finger.

  
It has been so long, and yet, no matter how much I try to forget the past, it will still come back to haunt me. It doesn't matter, though. I wouldn't want to forget him...Ever. It wouldn't be the person I now am, without him, so at the very least, visiting his castle, that now makes for a museum-fortress, Poienari Fortress, and drinking a glass of red wine, as a way of remembering him, should do the trick. After all, the day we met is unique, and it should be celebrated, shouldn't it?

Come to think of it...That day will come soon.   
Perhaps, now that I am awake, despite the late hours of the night - Or rather said, early morning, I should indulge in a little walk through the forest. What was this village called...Cheddar, I suppose?   
Being a traveler sometimes makes your memories foggy. So many places, so many names, and very often, they change without you realising. But, perhaps that's the beauty of the world - It's forever changing and never boring. 

I have been alive for over 500 years...And yet, I cannot say I there have been many dull moments, especially considering the scientific breakthrough that humans came up with, and the endless fountains of knowledge from which I could quench my thirst from.

Life truly is beautiful...If you can appreciate the beautiful parts of it, that is.

The winds blowing through the leaves, the soft grass, the occasional murmur of animals, the gunshots-...

_**The gunshots...?** _

Why would there be gunshots in such a small village?

Rushing to check out the commotion, I notice a very tall man in red, carrying a blond girl that seemed to be wounded, and a throng of nasty ghouls blocking their path.  
Sighing, I walked in front of the pair and blowing on my palm, I created some water drops that floated towards the ghouls' heads, blowing them off effortlessly, until one by one, they all fell down - Dead and unmoving, as they should have been in the first place.

  
 **"Are you alright? Is she hurt?"** I turn around to them, walking by their side to examine the girl.  
 **"She's fine. Normally, I'd say that it's dangerous for a young woman such as yourself to be walking around aimlessly through the forest, at such an hour...But you don't seem to have a problem."** the man smirked, talking in a low tone.  
 **"...Ah, I see. She truly isn't hurt."** my voice dropped to nothing but a murmur, as I saw the shirt torn, obviously by a bullet, and yet, the flesh underneath was undamaged. **"You're vampires. She's clearly a new one, but you...You're not just one of those run-of-the-mill vampires, are you?"** I asked, a small smirk on my face as well, as I looked up, deliberately making eye contact with his crimson eyes, that matched the blood moon perfectly.  
 **"And how ever could you know that?"** such interrogation from someone like him.  
 **"The plague shouldn't speak, so why are you?"** with a cheeky smirk, I challenge him, waiting to see his response.  
 **"Monsters like me shouldn't exist, and yet, here I am, and here they are. Life isn't fair, is it? Why does a young woman like you know so much?"** he inquired again, and yet, he was met with a shush sound from me, as I put my finger to my lips. **"Are you implying you're a monster, missy? Angels don't count."** he let out a bark-like laugh, which, for some reason, amused me.  
 **"Any being that can live eternally should be considered a monster. An abomination of this world, going against all the laws bound to reality."** I point out, walking along him to who knows where.  
 **"Nothing is ever eternal, missy, you should know that."** his response was almost sorrowful, which made me stop dead in my tracks, with a confused expression.  
 **"Are you sure...?"** I asked, tilting my head to the side, which made him turn to look at me.  
 **"Absolutely."** that single word held such a grave solemnity that it seemed he wanted to die as much as the next person.  
 **"...You clearly haven't witnessed stupidity, have you?"** I cracked a side grin, before putting my hand to my mouth, covering it, stifling a row of giggles addressed to my own, stupid joke.  
 **"Ha! Look at this one, she's fun. Say, missy, how would you like hunting down these abominations?"** this man...As enigmatic as he seemed, the aura of mystery and intrigue was overpowering any kind of reticence or skepticism I may have had before.  
 **"Life sure is interesting, isn't it? Just as it starts to get boring, it throws the weirdest things in your path...Even if that may come in the shape of two vampires asking you to join the fight against...More...Vampires. Fantastic."** I scoffed in amusement, nodding just a bit as I fell in pace with him.  
 **"You better make sure that I have the most fun in the last 500 years, otherwise I'm going to be so incredibly disappointed in you."** I clasped my hands behind my back, my head held high with pride and confidence.  
 **"If you're any bit as amusing as you are now, then I'm sure you will find this to your liking entirely."** as he said that, we finally arrived at what seemed to be a military tent, and he reported to this blond woman that was smoking a cigar.

  
Needless to say, she was incredibly annoyed at the mess _**'Alucard'**_ made, and had him entirely responsible of _**'Seras'**_ and her training...But he didn't seem too opposed to me joining. I supposed being a mature and level-headed woman with powers that can kill ghouls isn't something she'd like to turn off. After all...It's not often that you meet a witch, being put in a clear anti-thesis with a vampire.

What a cheeky man. Calling himself Alucard. That's definitely not his real name, but probably something he named himself once he turned. After all, who in their right mind would name their child the reverse version of Dracula?  
Ah...Dracula...What a joke. I hate that name with a burning passion.

I never believed I would hate a book as much as I hate Bram Stoker's Dracula, but it's not like I can do much about this spread disease that is nothing more than a terrible misconception and misinformation of the Lord I once held in such high regards and for whom I gave my life.  
Alucard thinks he's funny, doesn't he? If he met Vlad, he wouldn't be half as funny as he sees himself to be.  
However...There is something there...Something so irritating that keeps irking me from the first time I laid my eyes upon him. Something...Odd, that I can't place my finger on. A stupidly annoying resemblance between My Lord and this bloodsucker.

After briefly explaining the gist of my powers, on the way home, we put Seras in her new bed, and I change her into a set of sleeping wear, watching over her from a corner, while that brunet weirdo was sitting on her bed, without the least bit of remorse.

Poor girl, I can only imagine what it's like to die and then come back to life, and -

Hold up, that's what happened 500 years ago, it's nothing new for me. But I'm pretty sure I didn't wake up shrieking, at least...And I was all alone...Alone to discover my powers and the reason for me still being alive after a sword pierced my heart and arrows were pinned through me as if I was a pin cushion.

  
 **"Police Girl, how's it feel now that you're a Draculina?"** the man smirked, getting up, towering over her confused form.  
 **"How insensitive of you, Alucard. Can't say I expected anything different."** I scoffed, looking with concern at the poor girl. This made the poor girl look from left to right, shifting between the two of us, before taking out a hand mirror from her blouse and examining her teeth.  
 **"FANGS?!"** she shrieked in shock.  
 **"That's your shock?! I think having a hand mirror in your blouse should be more shocking!"** I blinked in surprise at the girl.  
 **"You're too loud, Police Girl."** Sir Integra walked in the dorm, followed by her butler, Walter. **"I don't care if you're a Draculina now, you must still act like an English woman."** she pointed out with an amused smirk.  
 **"Draculina...? ...U-Um...Excuse me, but where am I?"** she asked in a soft voice...She honestly reminds me of a confused puppy, which is weirdly adorable.  
 **"The Royal Order of Religious Knights, better known as the Hellsing Organisation. We expel monsters. We _ARE_ monsters."** a proper woman, speaking with so much confidence...It's not often that you meet someone as interesting as Integra, I have to say.  
 **"So, then...I'm..."** the young girl blinked, trying to process the situation.  
 **"Of course, you'll be working for us as a member of the Hellsing Organisation. We've had a string of incidents involving some suspicious Midians. Take out the vampire, Police Girl."** as she said that, Walter offered the girl her new uniform and a rifle for a weapon. Poor, poor girl.  
 **"Don't worry, kid, you'll be okay."** I muttered, walking to pat her on the head reassuringly.  
 **"Th-Thank you, miss..."** she looked up, as if searching for a name...A name...I haven't offered my actual name in a long while, have I? If I didn't know any better, I'd say I've forgotten it entirely.  
 **"...Katrina. Call me Katrina...Or Kat, for short. Don't be embarrassed, I don't like formalities. They make me feel older...Than I actually am."** I looked away, scratching my cheek awkwardly.  
 **"Okay...It's nice to meet you...Kat."** she smiled softly as I helped her up, motioning for everyone to leave so she could get changed.  
 **"You'll be okay, Seras. I'll make sure of that. Now get changed, it seems to be a great night ahead of us."** I offered her a small smile before leaving the place and waiting outside by the helicopter.

  
Five centuries alive, and still, this is the first time I get the opportunity to step inside a military helicopter. This sure seems to be getting more and more fun by the second.  
As told in the report, the culprits have been severing their victims' heads and wrote messages with their blood, and of course, the Religious Knight held offense with such sacrilege against their religion and country, so they must be eliminated as fast as possible.

Seeing that I'm not a vampire, I cannot go with Seras, as I cannot give her any pointers to use her vampiric powers, yet Alucard can, through the blood connection, so instead, I was paired up with this Crimson Fucker who prompted himself in front of the door and rang the bell, turning his head to smirk at me in amusement.

  
 _ **"Very funny."**_ I nodded, facepalming at his antics.

  
As per any extra person agenda, Alucard pointed his gun at the door and started aiming, a scream of agony being heard from the other side, as he then proceeded to completely destroy the door and walk inside, while I stood by the wall, observing the situation.  
I wasn't needed here, he has it all under control, but it's always fun and nice just watching chaos unfold.

With a psychotic laugh, the mess of a vampire from the ground took his gun and shot towards us, and while the Vampire shielded his head with his arms, not caring of the casualties all over the rest of his body, I put a wind shield around me, deflecting the bullets...To the one by my side.

**_Oops?_ **

It wasn't long before the newbie ran out of ammo and realised that neither of us was dead, which made him gasp and whine in horror as the smoke and dust dissipated, yet we were still standing there, unscratched.

  
  
 **"You can't even change into fog or a bat. You can't even heal your gunshot wounds. If you run out of bullets, you can't even fight. And you want to be a Nosferatu? Shame on you!"** Alucard's low voice echoed throughout the house as he slowly, yet menacingly walked over to catch the culprit who made a break for the window to escape, yet with a barrage of shots, he easily got him, then slammed him on the wall and used his hand to take out his heart and crush it.  
 **"Huh...You'd make a great villain in a horror slasher movie."** I chuckled in amusement, exiting the house nonchalantly.  
 **"For most, life is a horror story, isn't it?"** he chuckled, as he started instructing Seras on how to shoot like a proper vampire, and needless enough, she managed to pierce the running freak's heart with the first shot.  
 **"Or an existential crisis. Or both, in Seras's case. Reckon she's okay?"** I asked, looking up at the roof where she looked as if she was in deep contemplation.  
 **"She will be. After all...She chose this life."** the wide grin on his face made it look as if he was a shark or something.  
 **"Not much choice, was there? With a fatal wound like that, everyone would cling on the last thread of hope that ensures living, even without knowing the consequences. I wonder if she'd choose the same, should she have known everything beforehand."** I mocked being pensive, wanting to hear his response.  
 **"I'd hope not."** he hummed, as we started walking back towards the helicopter. **"Tomorrow night we have another mission, much more problematic. Rest and be prepared, this time, it won't be as fast."** the man explained, wearing the same sadistic grin on his face.  
 **"Oh, so we're finally having some fun, aren't we? About time."** I smirked lightly, looking out of the window of the helicopter as we got up in the sky again.  
 **"You will need weapons for this mission."** the vampire pointed out, only for me to scoff condescendingly.  
 **"I haven't touched a weapon since the day I die. I don't need weapons...But I understand why a newbie like you would."** I raised my chin up to look at him with a taunting smirk.  
 **"Are you insinuating you have been on this Earth longer than me?"** he leaned in, both his forearms leaning on his knees, as Seras looked back and forth between us, very confused.  
 **"I'm insinuating nothing, Alucard. I'm just stating facts. You are reckless and eager to fight, just like a newbie. So, what are you? 100? A bit more?"** I smirked right back, putting my ankle over my other knees, leaning back on the helicopter wall and crossing my arms.  
 **"Multiply it by 5, and you'll get the right answer. Although, sometimes it's difficult remembering the exact number."** he chuckled, completely satisfied by my shocked expression.  
 **"You can't be..."** I muttered, feeling beyond speechless.  
 **"Are you shocked that I have destroyed your deductions?"** his voice was mocking, all in due fun, but my green eyes wouldn't leave him red ones.  
 **"...How could you be as long as I am...? I never met an immortal being...That old."** hearing me say that, his eyes widened slightly behind his goggles as that shit eating grin dropped. He was as shocked as I was, which instilled a deafening silence to take over us, neither of us able to break the eye contact.

  
The rest of the flight was quiet, as not even Seras dared chirp any word, despite how tense the atmosphere was, and as soon as we landed, I rushed out of the helicopter, straight to my assigned room, not wanting to have contact with the brunet vampire for a while.

It's not okay...It's not...And it can't be. 

There's no way that he...He can't be...He is dead...Like, dead dead. Hella dead. Incredibly dead. Super dead. Irreversibly dead.

This was supposed to be a fun ride, not a curse in disguise.

So, honestly....

**Why did he have to look so much like _him_...?**


End file.
